5 Everyday Ways We Can Help Our Kids Feel Joy

It's a tough job being a kid. 

Seven hours of school a day, five days a week, homework, basketball practice, chess club, music lessons, chores, recitals and tutor sessions, girl scouts and 4H.  With such overloaded schedules, free time has become a rare commodity for our kids.  Often, when kids do have some time to kill, they choose to fill it with video games or TV. 

Cruising through their days at such a frantic pace, can make it difficult for kids to find time to feel much of anything, aside from exhausted.  I wonder if, with all the busyness, we are forgetting to make time to show our kids some of the more subtle, beautiful sights and sounds and feelings that one day can offer, that can generally only be found if we slow down a little, and look for them.  How can we make time everyday to help our children feel joy?

It doesn't take much time or energy to try these,

5 simple, everyday ways, to help our kids feel real JOY.

1.  Take The Time To Really See, Not Just Look

With such busy schedules, running home from school to grab a snack, and change into your baseball uniform, then back out to the car, little time is left for our kids to see, hear, and feel, the joy that is abundant, and there for the taking. 

Thich Nhat Nanh said, "The present moment is filled with joy and happiness.  If you are attentive, you will see it."

That is the secret!  We can teach our kids to slow down, to notice, and to appreciate the little things.  Something as simple as pointing out the beauty of the clouds, or the sound the wind is making in the trees, as we walk from the car to an appointment, or taking a three minute detour on your walk home from school to run through a pile of leaves, or to throw a few snowballs. 

Often, joy is found in the details.

John Calvin said it well:

"There is not one blade of grass, there is no color in this world, that is not intended to make us rejoice"

How much more purposeful and joyful can we make each day, each moment, when we teach our kids to slow down and notice, to not just look, but to really see?

2.  Laugh

It's not uncommon for our kids to feel rundown and a little stressed out, by all the demands on their time.  What is more effective at diffusing stress and lightening the mood, than laughter?   We can keep conversation light and positive at the dinner table.  Share favorite old jokes from your childhood.  Admit it, "Knock, knock. Who's there? Dwain.  Dwain, who?  Dwain the bathtub, I'm dwownding." never gets old.  Making time to interact, be a little silly, and laugh, can lighten the sometimes heavy load our kiddos bear.

3. Be the Example of Joyful Living

Whether we like it or not, we, as parents, set the tone in our homes.  Our kids pick up on our moods, and our attitudes, and often this effects their own feelings.  Through our positive examples, our kids can learn tools for dealing with stress and busyness in a healthy way.  What are some specific ways we can be an example of joyful living? 

When we feel overloaded or overtired, we can take five.  Learning to take a break, step away from the busyness for a few minutes to breathe, read, or rest, is an important life skill for our kids to learn. 

We can turn on music to give ourselves an emotional boost, and added energy to accomplish the days demands.  It's amazing how dancing along to our favorite tunes can bring a smile to our faces, and take the drudgery out of sweeping, or doing the dishes.

This is not to say that we have to be perfect.  It's ok for our kids to see us mess up, regroup, and try again. 

4. It's the Quality of the Day, Not the Busyness, That Really Matters

It's easy to feel like the faster we go, the more activities we can squeeze into our day, the more successful and happy we will be.  The truth is, sometimes less is more.  We can teach our kids that we don't have to be busy to have a productive day. 

Dieter F. Uchtdorf, and apostle in the LDS church, captured this truth beautifully.  He said,

"Isn’t it true that we often get so busy? And, sad to say, we often even wear our busyness as a badge of honor, as though being busy, by itself, were an accomplishment or sign of a superior life"

What would our children gain if we taught them that the sheer amount of activities in their day wasn't what was important.  What if we taught them that a day spent snuggled up in a blanket, reading a good book, could be just as important and successful as a day spent running from one activity to the next.

5. Free Time To Play

When we keep our kids moving from sun up to sun down, we deny them of a critically important component of childhood...free time and play.  Allowing our kids time to themselves to think, play, wonder, and imagine, is not only extremely important in fostering creativity, but gives them much needed time to rest, renew, and find balance in their busy days.  A little bit of time, time with absolutely nothing scheduled, time where they have the freedom to spend it how they like, this is an important gift for a busy kid!  Allowing for some free time every day will keep our kids from feeling run down and exhausted, and give them renewed energy and excitement about all the lessons, and activities, and maybe even their homework.

It's not hard to help our kids find joy.  Joy is abundant, the trick is to slow down and notice.

Today's a new day; let's make it purposeful!
Kara