Summer Doesn't Have to Be Pointless: Motivating Your Kids To Put Down Their Screens

I've discovered that more often than not, when my children come to me with the complaint, "I'm bored", it's really some kind of secret kid code for, "Can I watch TV?" or, "Can I play on the computer?" I can offer them an extensive list of my most creative boredom busting ideas...paint a picture, write a story, see how many dandelions you can pick in the backyard, read a book in the hammock...nothing sparks any interest, except a screen. Helping my kids to see past the allure of screens, to the million other productive, happy, beautiful, enriching activities one can fill their day with, has been at the top of my mom priority list for a good 18 years now. I'm not perfect. Some days I give in and let my kids spend way more time staring at a screen than is healthy. I've found a method, no doubt born out of exasperation on one of those days where noses are constantly glued to screens, that is surprisingly effective at motivating my kids to abandon their screens, and spend their time in productive, healthy, ways.

Points Day

When I've had enough, when I can't take another day of incessant Peppa Pig, or Clumsy Ninja, I wake up before the kids, and make a list. I summon all my childhood memories of creative play, and make a list of as many fun, healthy, and utterly un-mind-numbing activities as I can think of. This list might look something like this:

Write a poem about summertime
Do a sneaky kind deed for someone
Draw the coolest picture ever of a dragon
Make a tower out of marshmallows and toothpicks
Practice an instrument for 10 minutes
Jump rope 100 times in a row
Read a picture book to a little sibling
Make a giant pile of pillows and read your favorite book on top
Color with sidewalk chalk in a puddle, and see what happens
Skip all the way around the house 3 times
Make a comic strip
Raid the dress up box for the most creative costume you can think of. (Dancing Super-hero Dog?)
Sincerely compliment someone
Make art out of something unexpected (ie: dried beans, pasta, leaves, pennies, etc.)
Play dough Pictionary
If you could take a trip anywhere in the world, where would you go? What would you do? What would you eat? Where would you sleep? Write it all down and read it to me.

I assign a certain number of points to each activity: one point for the quick and easy ones, two or three for the more time and thought consuming ones. I even dish out an occasional 10 points for the really tough ones. I write the "Points Day" challenge on the top of the list: "Pick whichever activities look fun to you! If you can earn 100 points by 5:00 this afternoon, you win the prize!" The prize can be whatever you think will motivate your kiddos. Our last Points Day grand prize was a walk on our favorite street downtown to get an ice-cream cone, or a cookie at the bakery, and a book at the cute used book store. It doesn't have to be expensive, or extravagant, just something novel and special. My kids have even found sufficient motivation in the slightly pathetic grand prize of lunch at Costco. When I've finished the list, I put it on the table, or the kitchen counter, or sometimes I tape it to the TV, anywhere easily spotted by the kids as they come downstairs in the morning.  I love to watch the kids discover the list. They forget all about Ash and Pikachu, and are immediately wrapped up in amassing as many points as they can! Before I know it, the house is buzzing with creative energy. Jonah is making up a song on the piano, Sophie is trying to swing higher than she ever has on the rope swing outside, and Lily is making a valiant effort to do 100 jumping jacks. Not once, all day long, do I hear the words, "I'm bored", and not once all day are my children found comatose on the couch watching TV. At the end of the day, when everyone has earned 100 points, (usually they get competitive and earn well over 100), we set off to cash in on the grand prize.

The next time the theme song to Sesame Street has you clenching your teeth, or your grow tired of the glazed look in your kid's eyes as he goes for the high score on Minecraft, consider making it a Points Day!

Share your genius with me! What are some ideas you would put on your list?

Today's a new day; let's  make it purposeful!
Kara

Summer At Home With Kids Is No Vacation: 4 Secrets to Make Summer Fun Again

Each June, I find myself counting down the days till summer vacation begins. I'm just as excited as my kids to trade in rigid schedules, early mornings, and homework for sleeping in, flip-flops, and the lazy days of summer.

I love summer for all the sunshine and extra time with my kids, but it doesn't take too many of lazy summer days for me to remember that summer vacation is no picnic!

Tell me that I'm not the only one to ever have a summer day go something like this...

My wake up call comes in the form of two little pairs of pouncing pajamas. My tired eyes will barely open enough to check the time on the clock. I was up late the night before, trying to convince the kids that bedtime is still a good idea, even in the summertime. Morning has come too soon! I stumble sleepily down the stairs to make breakfast. I mix together eggs and milk and baking powder, and heat up the frying pan for our favorite pancakes, when I realize that we're out of flour. Cereal again. The kids are vocally disappointed with cereal for breakfast, a very "school year" kind of breakfast with no place in their summer morning. After breakfast I clean up the kitchen, and head upstairs for a shower. My shower plans are sabotaged by frequent "MOM!" calls for help to find the black crayon, to reach a favorite toy that has rolled under the couch, and at least 5 denied request for screen time. Suddenly, it's 1:00, and I am still in my pajamas, and all the kids are still in theirs. I remember that I promised to take them to the park, but I have a chiropractor appointment at 3:00. I give out commands for kids to get dressed, comb their hair, and find shoes, as I make a mad dash to the shower. When I'm finally dressed for the day, I head downstairs ready for the park, to find kids still hanging out in their pajamas, looking for the brush, or wearing winter boots because they can't find their other flip-flop anywhere. It's 2:00. Despite a noble last minute attempt to get everyone dressed and out the door as quickly as possible, it's 2:20, and we still can't find the brush or one of Lily's shoes. I break the news that we've run out of time, and the park is going to have to wait until tomorrow. I swing by the store on the way home from the chiropractor to pick up some consolation popsicles, hoping to ease the pain of the park disappointment. The popsicles are a hit, and the park blues are soon replaced by blue stained tongues and fingers. There is peace and contentment at home, until I find the first abandoned popsicle, a stick in a neon puddle on the table. I call the guilty party in to clean up the mess, turn, and step in abandoned popsicle number two. I find wrappers on the counter and the floor, and every surface that can possibly be sticky, is. The popsicles have officially made it a bath night. I shew the little ones up the stairs and tempt them into the tub with extravagant amounts of bubbles and toys. Kids content in the bath, I figure that I can use this time to whip up some dinner. I sneak down the stairs, (all bathers old enough to be left alone, of course), and start dinner. I boil water for the pasta and heat up the butter and milk for the rue. Homemade macaroni and cheese! Is there a happier end to the day? Then I remember that you can't make a rue without flour, and we're out. I rummage through the cupboards to find the box grater, then open the fridge to discover...no cheese. I put a not so willing teenager in charge of the kids in the bath, and run to the nearest grocery store for cheese and flour. While I'm there I remember that we're also out of bread and bananas and peanut butter and eggs. Thirty minutes later I'm back home to find kids out of the tub and starved. I return to the cold noodles and lumpy rue, and finally, thirty minutes later, have dinner on the table. I try to overcome the guilt of having dinner at 8:00, again, telling myself that it's very European. This makes me feel a little better. Dinner ends, and by the time we all clear the table, and clean up, it's 9:00. Who knew one could get distracted 300 times on the way to brush their teeth. Prayers said, books read, we tuck the littles into bed, and drop subtle hints to the teenagers that maybe they are really tired and should head up to bed.  It's 10:00 and my husband and I slump exhausted on the couch, barely enough energy to pick a show on Netflix to watch together before we drop wearily into bed.

Did you find my embarrassingly accurate description of a summer day at the Parnell home funny, or did it strike too close to home to be funny? This summer thing can be intense! Thankfully, through trial and error, I've stumbled upon a few secrets that have helped me keep the above mentioned kind of day to a minimum, and helped to make summer at home with kids memorable and fun.


Save Summer Ideas

1 - Plan!

It's amazing the power over the day you give yourself, by taking a little time the night before to put some ideas on paper. I've been amazed at how much more smoothly a summer day goes when I've done a little planning. There's no need to plan a minute by minute schedule, but I find that whipping out a notebook, or my phone in bed at night, and writing down any appointments or obligations for the next day, along with a few ideas to entertain the kids, helps me feel empowered, not overwhelmed when I wake up in the morning. Having this idea ammunition on my list, I feel organized and prepared as I challenge my kids to the world's coolest Lego creation contest after breakfast, and I keep lunch prep stress to a minimum as I pack the picnic I planned the night before, and head out the door to enjoy it at the lake. I don't have to use up my limited supply of energy and creativity in the stress of the day. I organized my day in a quiet moment, by myself, the night before, and that has made such a difference.


2 - Get Out

I've seen a pattern among my most stressful summer days. The days that end up the most exhausting and stressful are almost always the days that we stay home all day. Something about staying home the entire day, staring at the never ending pile of dishes that just wont go away no matter how many times you load the dishwasher, and in general just spending long hours cooped up together, can often lead to stress, boredom, and grumpy kids (and mom). I've learned that making it a priority to get out of the house, at least once a day, makes all the difference. To the park, on a walk, to the pool, to a museum, to visit a friend, even just to the grocery store, just getting out of the house for a little while each day, magically makes home a happy place to return to, and seems to reduce the stress, boredom, and grumpy feelings.

3 - Stay In

Wait, what? I know. But staying in at least some of the day, is equally as important as getting out for some of the day. Balance, my friends. I've noticed that as fun as getting out of the house on a fun adventure is, if I pack the day too full, the kids get exhausted, and fed up with the hot car, and just want to go home. Striking that  balance between fun activities, and some down time at home to read and play and rest, seems to be key for a happy summer day.

4 - Take Time For Yourself

During the school year, with the regular, more predictable routine of kids off to school by 9 and home by 3, it's easier to find a little time for yourself. In the swirl of activity, and the more loose routine of summer, it can be tricky to remember to schedule in some down time for yourself. Taking a few minutes every day to relax, refocus, and refuel, is my biggest secret to a happy summer day. When the busyness of the day has got you feeling overwhelmed, take 15 minutes to read a couple chapters of a book, whip out your mat and remember how great a little downward dog and cobra can make you feel when your overwhelmed, eat your favorite snack on the porch and just relax and notice the beautiful day, or anything to put a little focus on yourself, anything to remind yourself that you are an individual too, not just a mom, and that it's okay for you to have a fun summer too.  It's okay to take a break. No guilt allowed. A rested happy mom inevitably leads to a happier family and a happier summer day.

We can do it! We can turn the 90 long days of summer, stretching out before us in all it's intimidating
busyness, to 90 days of balance, fun, rest and adventure.

Today's a new day; let's make it purposeful!
Kara

Little Yogis

     A few weeks ago, it was my absolute privilege to spend an hour or so teaching some very basic yoga to a group of adorable, highly energetic, 8 and 9 year olds.
    
     With yoga mats, (no doubt borrowed from moms and dads, or older siblings), lining the small room from wall to wall, we all sat together in Half Lotus. We held our palms together at our hearts, and I talked about the greeting "Namaste" - "The light in me recognizes the light in you". I explained that I loved Yoga, because anyone could do it. You didn't have to be athletic, or super strong, or a fast runner, to do Yoga. I talked about how Yoga was a pretty special way to exercise, because it wasn't just exercise for your body, but for the mind and body together. We talked about the importance of tuning in to your breath. Big breath in through your nose, big, audible breath out through your mouth. Together we practiced Mountain Pose and Tree Pose, Warrior 1 and Warrior 2, and the class favorite, Cat/Cow, and several other poses, until finally, a worn out, slightly less energetic group, were happy to lay down, close their eyes, and practice a little relaxation and meditation.
    
     A week or so after teaching this class, I asked my 8 year old daughter if she thought her friends had fun learning Yoga. She answered, "Yes! All Sarah, (name changed 😊), wants to do now at recess is Yoga!" The thought of those adorable 3rd graders proudly demonstrating Downward Dog on the playground made me smile, and reminded me that knowledge of a few basic Yoga postures can empower our kids!

 

                                                              
    
     What can Yoga do for your kids?

     1- Yoga Can Increase Confidence
     One beautiful thing about Yoga, is that wherever you are in your posture progress, is the perfect place to be. Yoga is completely non-competitive. There is no comparing yourself with anyone else, just slow and steady personal improvement as you stick with the practice. Our kids confidence will grow as they find themselves feeling strong and flexible in a pose that was initially challenging for them.

     2- Yoga Can Teach Our Kids to Be Calm And Relax
      Yoga can teach our kids mindfulness, and help them to simply be in the present. When you're on the mat, focused on your breath, and the succession of postures, your mind and thoughts naturally calm down. A little yoga and relaxation before bed will teach our kids to wind down, stretch tired muscles, and prepare for sleep.

     3- Yoga is A Fun Way to Encourage Our Kids to Exercise
     Getting our kids to happily turn off the TV and run a mile, or do 50 jumping jacks isn't very realistic. Getting our kids to join in as we do Cobra pose, Happy Baby pose, or Flower pose, might be an easier sell. Yoga is fun! Yoga can be practiced in story form, (see Cosmic Kids Yoga on youtube), or you can play a yoga game. (https://somuchyoga.com/best-yoga-games-kids/).

     Yoga and kids are such a good fit! Yoga is active, creative, fun, and you don't have to wear shoes! Break out the mat, and cat/cow your way to more confident, calm, and healthy kids!

Namaste.

Today's a new day; let's make it purposeful!
Kara
    
(Photo source:  http://i.huffpost.com/gen/3468810/images/n-KIDS-DOING-YOGA-628x314.jpg  )

Dessert, Healthifyed!

I have a confession. I've got a thing for sugar.

                                                                                               ("Old School Candy, forbes.com)

As a kid, I had no shame. My friends and I would make a weekly trek to the gas station up the road to refill our waning sugar supply. Pixie Sticks, Bubble Tape, Lik-m-Aid, Laffy Taffy, Tootsie Pops, I loved them all. Over the years I've moved away from the pure sugar, insta-cavity candy of my youth, to more mature sugar, you know, like Ben and Jerry's l Ice-cream, and Ghirardelli brownies.  

Most of my life, I've found it pretty easy to justify eating copious amounts of treats.  "Sugar is good for me...emotionally", or "I'll just eat one cookie. Okay, just one more. It's a small one."

As much as I try to eat a pretty clean, healthy diet in general, I never could find the motivation to cut back on sweets.  Strangely enough, neither knowing that sugar was bad for me, or my desire to be healthy, were strong enough motivators for me to change my sugar-heavy habits.  In the end, the only thing that could convince me to rethink my sugar consumption was the discovery that I was allergic to chocolate.  It turns out that most of the sweet treats that I loved contained chocolate. Once I gave up chocolate, my sugar consumption went way down. 

Then, my friends, the unthinkable happened. (Pay attention, this is a life-changing secret!)

Once I stopped eating sugar everyday, my desire for sugar diminished significantly.

This is the secret!  If you can make it through the initial few days of going without sugar, suddenly, your body stops craving it.  The more sugar you eat, the more you want. 

Why is this?

Here's the thing. The reason we reach for another Little Debbie Cosmic Brownie, isn't because they are just so darn irresistible, (let's be honest here), it's because sugar is addicting. 

"The average American consumes anywhere from a quarter to a half pound of sugar a day," says a New York Times article called, Sugar Season. It's Everywhere, and Addictive. (NY Times, December 22, 2014)

The article continues,

"Sugar stimulates brain pathways just as an opioid would, and sugar has been found to be habit-forming in people. Cravings induced by sugar are comparable to those induced by addictive drugs like cocaine and nicotine. And although other food components may also be pleasurable, sugar may be uniquely addictive in the food world."

We all know that eating sugary treats is unhealthy, and we know that we just might be addicted to the stuff, so what now?
 
Well, you could give up cookies and muffins and doughnuts forever, and try to convince yourself that another serving of broccoli is dessert enough, or, you could learn to HEALTHIFY!

"Healthify", is the word I've dubbed for taking a typical unhealthy, sugary, totally tempting treat, and increasing the nutrition without messing with the taste.

In an effort to keep the treats that I love, without sacrificing my health, I've learned to make the same yummy treats I've always loved, with a few simple, healthy substitutions.

That's all it takes to enjoy cookies and cake and muffins again, without the guilt, and without compromising your health.

My Fool-Proof List Of Baking Substitutions That Will Bring
                        Back Dessert And Save Your Health

Sugar Substitutes - There are so many amazing sugar substitutes, readily available, that we really don't have a good excuse for baking with sugar.  Pure Maple syrup, honey, Agave Nectar, and Coconut sugar are my very favorites.  Brown rice syrup and Stevia are also great sugar alternatives.
For the most part, I use these sweeteners straight across, (1 for 1, for sugar), and they do a fabulous job.  Honey, however, is so naturally sweet, that you only need to use 1/2 the amount of honey as sugar.

Sugar is no doubt my biggest concern with eating sweets, but while we're focusing on whipping up a healthy treat, why not take it to the next level and healthify the whole recipe?

Milk Substitutes - Coconut Milk, Almond Milk, Rice Milk, or Soy Milk, all substitute beautifully for milk in any recipe, and do away with the cholesterol and fat found in cow's milk.

Eggs - Flax seed is my favorite healthy baking secret ingredient.  A Tablespoon of ground Flax Seed and 3 Tablespoons of water, per egg, makes a perfect healthy substitute for eggs.  I add flax to muffins and pancakes regularly, and my kids don't even know that they are getting a belly full of fiber and Omega 3 Fatty Acids.

Butter and Oils - I grant you, it's tough to find a substitute to match butter.  Taste wise, it's kind of irreplaceable, but it's also extremely high in fat and cholesterol.  My favorite butter substitute, hands down, is Coconut Oil. I love the taste of baked goods made with coconut oil, and the health benefits are incredible.  MDhealth.com reports that,

"Coconut oil has high amounts of lauric acid that have strong antibacterial properties. It is also believed that coconut oil helps with weight loss because it is composed of short and medium chain fatty acids. Consuming coconut oil can also help you manage digestive distress, regulating the blood sugar, strengthening the teeth and bones, and strengthening your immune system."

Cookies that are GOOD for you?!  Yes, please!

Applesauce or a mashed banana also make great oil substitutes.

Flour - I've had several failed attempts trying to use whole wheat flour in dessert.  Often the cookies or cakes baked up dry and dense, and the texture was all wrong.  I had almost given up on baking with whole wheat flour, until years ago, I discovered White Wheat Flour.  (Whole Wheat Flour milled from the hard white wheat berry, as opposed to traditional Whole Wheat Flour milled from the hard red wheat berry).  This healthy flour acts exactly like white flour in baking, and bad texture is no longer an issue.

Bring back dessert, my friends!  Life can be sweet again!

Try these substitutions, and see for yourself how easy and delicious it is to healthify.

Today's a new day; let's make it purposeful!
Kara

Imperfectly Perfect

Most days, I feel a lot of pressure to be perfect. 

Do you feel it too? 

Sometimes it feels like this pressure is coming in from all sides.  Pressure to wear clothes not covered in peanut butter and finger paint, pressure to work out and be thin, pressure to have a perfectly clean house, pressure to prepare a well balanced meal every night, pressure to have perfect kids who always say cute and charming things when the grandparents are visiting, and who never scream at the doctor's office.

Society doesn't cut us much of a break.  Everywhere we turn, there's more pressure to be perfect, another opportunity to compare our life to someone else, and to beat ourselves up for falling short.
Did  you know that "Pinterest Stress", is really a thing?  Sad but true.  TODAY issued a survey to over 7,000 moms across the United States, and found that 42% of participating moms said that Pinterest gave them anxiety.  Interestingly, 3/4 of the moms who felt stressed by Pinterest admitted that the majority of the perfection pressure they feel from Pinterest is self-inflicted.  Wow!  Why do we do this to ourselves?  (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/11/pinterest-stress-moms-social-media_n_3253475.html)

Can we learn to be happy with ourselves and our lives exactly as we are? 
I'm all for self-improvement and for setting goals, but is there a way to feel good about ourselves during the process? 

I love this quote by George Bernard Shaw.

" A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing."

Who came up with the hurtful lie that making mistakes or falling short were terrible things?  Making mistakes is a perfect time to take a step back, reevaluate, find a fresh perspective, and try again.

Today, choose to take it easy on yourself.  Success lies not in doing things perfectly, but in doing our very best.  And friends, you're doing so much better than you think! 

Focus on the dozens of little successes that are yours each day. It's amazing the lift that comes when we stop beating ourselves up for not being perfect, and instead congratulate ourselves for doing our best. 

So you made very forgettable, way too thin and flat, cookies for your church cookie exchange, (true life story, I lose my ability to bake on this night every year), celebrate that you found time in your busy day to bake at all, and that you got to spend a happy couple of hours with your friends eating cookies.  So you packed Skittles for your kids "healthy snack" at school, and got a note from his teacher asking you to please send something healthier next time.  Celebrate the fact that 90% of the time, you opt for carrots or an apple, and even occasionally you amaze yourself and your kids by sending homemade muffins. 

We're all working to be our best, but it's ok to not be perfect today.  Keep on trying, and allow yourself to think that sometimes imperfect can be pretty perfect.

Case in Point:

Several months ago, with my four youngest in tow, I set off with high hopes, determined to have an adventure.  I wanted to immortalize this moment of spending quality, creative, time with my kiddos, with a photo.  All I wanted was five seconds of commitment from these kids.  Five seconds to look at the camera and smile.  I remember feeling frustrated at how difficult it was to convince these excited, wiggly, kids to stand still long enough for me to snap a good picture  After several failed attempts, I gave up on the idea of a perfect picture.  I put away my phone, and we went on with our day.  Later on, looking back through my pictures, I realized that this crazy, rushed, selfie, with Jonah making his signature, "I hate posing for pictures", silly face,  and the baby's face half cut out of the frame, I realized that this was one imperfectly perfect picture!  Look at Lottie's bright blue, inquisitive eyes.  Jonah's face is pretty hilarious, and even though it wasn't the perfect picture that I was hoping for, this is a moment with my crazy kids that I am so happy to have captured!

Let go of the pressure to be perfect.  Keeping on trucking!  You are an enormous success just for loving, for accepting, for picking yourself up when you fail, and continuing to TRY every day.

Today's a new day; let's make it purposeful!
Kara

Every Day A Holiday

Do you dress your family in matching red, white, and blue, patriotic paraphernalia every Fourth of July?  Are you guilty of stocking your freezer full of Cadbury chocolate eggs at Easter time, leaving up your Christmas tree much longer than is socially acceptable, or getting excited when you realize that July 11th, (7/11), is coming up, because a free Slurpee is absolutely something to celebrate?

I love holidays!  I love celebrating simple, meaningful traditions with friends and family.  I'm too impatient to wait for Valentines to roll around after New Years.  The months between July 4th and Halloween are much too long.  I just can't wait to for the next holiday to come around.  So, I don't!

I know what you're thinking.  "What more do you want?  The calendar is already littered with holidays like: Secretary's Day, National Hot Dog Day, Arbor Day, Scrabble Day, Barbershop Quartet Day, and National Doughnut Day."  While I certainly appreciate a day that gives me a really good excuse to eat a doughnut, it's just not enough.  I want more!

Why can't every day be a holiday?  I am thinking of a different kind of celebration.  A celebration simply because it's a new day, a celebration of the million simple, little, details that make up a day.  Your day.

The simplest, happy moment in your day can warrant a celebration.  Something as random as Hummus going on sale.  (I really like Hummus.)  Make up a batch of homemade Naan.  Look up a few facts on a country where this might be a regular meal, and have a cultural night celebration for dinner.  (Try this recipe!  http://allrecipes.com/recipe/14565/naan/)

On an extra windy day, pick up a couple $2.00 kites at the store, and make it "Kite Day", or buy, (or make), a pinwheel, and talk to your kids about wind power and windmills.  
(Try these!  http://www.marthastewart.com/272283/paper-pinwheels)

A rainy day doesn't have to mean that your stuck inside with nothing to do.  A rainy day is one of my favorite excuses to celebrate!  A rainy day could become, "Snuggle Up With a Good Book and Your Favorite Blanket Day." 

My two year old loves rainy days, because she knows that the perfect muddy puddle always appears on our front walk.  In fact, on sunny days when no puddle is to be seen, Lottie will walk by the spot, and with a sad sigh and longing in her eyes, say, "the puddle dried up". 

My 18 year old daughter still talks about how much she remembers loving the "Rainy Sunday Box", from her childhood.  This box couldn't have been more simple: maybe a few toys from the dollar store, a box of new crayons and a few coloring books, and some small treats, in an attempt to make a long, rainy, Sunday afternoon become a little more exciting for my kids.  This simple box, kept hidden until it happened to rain on a Sunday, was exciting and special to my kids, and made a rainy day something worth celebrating.

The secret is to celebrate the everyday, celebrate the simple, celebrate the beautiful that every day brings.
 
Why not add a few new holidays of your own to the calendar? 

Today's a new day; let's make it purposeful!
Kara

5 Everyday Ways We Can Help Our Kids Feel Joy

It's a tough job being a kid. 

Seven hours of school a day, five days a week, homework, basketball practice, chess club, music lessons, chores, recitals and tutor sessions, girl scouts and 4H.  With such overloaded schedules, free time has become a rare commodity for our kids.  Often, when kids do have some time to kill, they choose to fill it with video games or TV. 

Cruising through their days at such a frantic pace, can make it difficult for kids to find time to feel much of anything, aside from exhausted.  I wonder if, with all the busyness, we are forgetting to make time to show our kids some of the more subtle, beautiful sights and sounds and feelings that one day can offer, that can generally only be found if we slow down a little, and look for them.  How can we make time everyday to help our children feel joy?

It doesn't take much time or energy to try these,

5 simple, everyday ways, to help our kids feel real JOY.

1.  Take The Time To Really See, Not Just Look

With such busy schedules, running home from school to grab a snack, and change into your baseball uniform, then back out to the car, little time is left for our kids to see, hear, and feel, the joy that is abundant, and there for the taking. 

Thich Nhat Nanh said, "The present moment is filled with joy and happiness.  If you are attentive, you will see it."

That is the secret!  We can teach our kids to slow down, to notice, and to appreciate the little things.  Something as simple as pointing out the beauty of the clouds, or the sound the wind is making in the trees, as we walk from the car to an appointment, or taking a three minute detour on your walk home from school to run through a pile of leaves, or to throw a few snowballs. 

Often, joy is found in the details.

John Calvin said it well:

"There is not one blade of grass, there is no color in this world, that is not intended to make us rejoice"

How much more purposeful and joyful can we make each day, each moment, when we teach our kids to slow down and notice, to not just look, but to really see?

2.  Laugh

It's not uncommon for our kids to feel rundown and a little stressed out, by all the demands on their time.  What is more effective at diffusing stress and lightening the mood, than laughter?   We can keep conversation light and positive at the dinner table.  Share favorite old jokes from your childhood.  Admit it, "Knock, knock. Who's there? Dwain.  Dwain, who?  Dwain the bathtub, I'm dwownding." never gets old.  Making time to interact, be a little silly, and laugh, can lighten the sometimes heavy load our kiddos bear.

3. Be the Example of Joyful Living

Whether we like it or not, we, as parents, set the tone in our homes.  Our kids pick up on our moods, and our attitudes, and often this effects their own feelings.  Through our positive examples, our kids can learn tools for dealing with stress and busyness in a healthy way.  What are some specific ways we can be an example of joyful living? 

When we feel overloaded or overtired, we can take five.  Learning to take a break, step away from the busyness for a few minutes to breathe, read, or rest, is an important life skill for our kids to learn. 

We can turn on music to give ourselves an emotional boost, and added energy to accomplish the days demands.  It's amazing how dancing along to our favorite tunes can bring a smile to our faces, and take the drudgery out of sweeping, or doing the dishes.

This is not to say that we have to be perfect.  It's ok for our kids to see us mess up, regroup, and try again. 

4. It's the Quality of the Day, Not the Busyness, That Really Matters

It's easy to feel like the faster we go, the more activities we can squeeze into our day, the more successful and happy we will be.  The truth is, sometimes less is more.  We can teach our kids that we don't have to be busy to have a productive day. 

Dieter F. Uchtdorf, and apostle in the LDS church, captured this truth beautifully.  He said,

"Isn’t it true that we often get so busy? And, sad to say, we often even wear our busyness as a badge of honor, as though being busy, by itself, were an accomplishment or sign of a superior life"

What would our children gain if we taught them that the sheer amount of activities in their day wasn't what was important.  What if we taught them that a day spent snuggled up in a blanket, reading a good book, could be just as important and successful as a day spent running from one activity to the next.

5. Free Time To Play

When we keep our kids moving from sun up to sun down, we deny them of a critically important component of childhood...free time and play.  Allowing our kids time to themselves to think, play, wonder, and imagine, is not only extremely important in fostering creativity, but gives them much needed time to rest, renew, and find balance in their busy days.  A little bit of time, time with absolutely nothing scheduled, time where they have the freedom to spend it how they like, this is an important gift for a busy kid!  Allowing for some free time every day will keep our kids from feeling run down and exhausted, and give them renewed energy and excitement about all the lessons, and activities, and maybe even their homework.

It's not hard to help our kids find joy.  Joy is abundant, the trick is to slow down and notice.

Today's a new day; let's make it purposeful!
Kara