Comfort Zone Challenge - Day 27

Several months ago, I stood at the mirror in a public restroom, fixing my hair, and thinking to myself that I was long overdue for a haircut.  Into the restroom walked a woman that I had never in my life met before, who stopped, looked at me, and said,

 "I LOVE your hair! It is so cute! You look like one of those classy ladies in an old 20's magazine!"

"Classy lady in a magazine"?  That was a new one for me, and so far from the self-conscious thoughts I had just been entertaining about my hair.  I suddenly thought that maybe my hair was pretty cool, and I glowed from the compliment the rest of the day.  In fact, if my children are reading this post, at this point they are most likely rolling there eyes, embarrassed that I am once again sharing this story that I've told dozens of times already.  It was a simple thing.  I'm sure that this kind lady hasn't given that moment another thought since it happened, but I've thought of it, and smiled, over and over.

Inspired by this compliment, I decided that finding a stranger to compliment would be a perfect comfort zone challenge.  It turns out that this idea is easier said than done.  I've been thinking of this idea for weeks, but I can't just wander around a store, looking for someone with good hair to compliment.  Maybe I had to wait around for an opportunity to present itself.  I've been waiting, and waiting for weeks.  It's possible that I've just been out of touch, or too busy to notice an opportunity to compliment a stranger when it came.  In any case, yesterday I had an epiphany.  As awkward, and stocker-ish as it sounds, walking around a store looking for someone to compliment was actually the perfect strategy for my comfort zone challenge.  It seems a little insincere and forced to walk around looking for someone to compliment, but that act of looking, is almost as important as the compliment itself.  When you take the time to really look at a stranger, and think of what you could possibly say to compliment them, you are forced to see what makes them unique, and to look for the best in them.  My 15 year old daughter helped to teach me this principle.  We had just arrived at Target and I was already feeling very uncomfortable with what I was attempting.  "How do I even go about this?"  I anxiously asked my daughter.  She replied, "Mom, it's not that hard.  Just look for the good in people."  Oh yeah.  That could work.

So, I wandered around Target, not looking this time for a cute new mixing bowl, or school supplies, but for someone to compliment.  I stopped my cart by a woman looking at home décor.  Typically, I most likely would have ignored this woman all together, intent on my shopping list, but I took the time to really look for the good.  I summoned up my courage, and not knowing anything about her personality, or strengths, I focused in on what I could plainly see about her, without knowing her...she definitely had style!  She was wearing Converse shoes.  I said, "Cute shoes!  I love to see other mom's wearing Converse shoes too."  That was it.  Not flowery, but sincere.  She replied with a little initial shock, and then a smile.  She replied, "Oh, thank you!  I love converse.  They never go out of style.  I think I'll still be wearing converse when I'm seventy."  Then she smiled again, and said thank you a couple of times as she walked away. 

That was so much easier than I thought it would be! 

Once again, conquering the awkward proved much more difficult in theory than in the attempt.  Complimenting someone's shoes or hair is inarguably simple, but I'm beginning to understand that often it's the smallest acts of kindness that make the biggest impact. 

Today's a new day, let's make it purposeful!
Kara