A Good Old Family Dinner. heights.edu
When my mom was growing up, dinner time was steeped in ritual. Each day of the week was assigned a specific, unchanging, meal. Fish on Tuesday, Oyster Stew on Friday, week after week, after week. By the time my mom grew up, and had a family of her own, though she hadn't learned to love Oyster Stew, she had gained a strong conviction of the importance of regular family dinners.
I love to think back, as a mother myself now, to those daily, consistent meals I experienced as a kid. I remember walking in the back door around dinner time, greeted by good smells, clanking dishes, and instructions to help set the table. I remember the comfort of favorite foods like mashed potatoes or peach cobbler. I remember struggling to down one last bite of broccoli, and laughing at my brothers jokes. I remember a sense of belonging, a sense of happy routine, and I remember love. I wonder if my mom knew then the gift she was giving her family? The gift of true nourishment to body and mind and spirit, through making family dinners a priority.
For generations, families have gathered around the table, to share not just food, but time, and conversation, and wisdom. What can we learn from this time-tested tradition of family dinners, and what do we lose when we let the frantic pace of our days push out this meaningful time, and replace it with the empty substitute of a hamburger in the car?
Author Miriam Weinstein, in her book, The Surprising Power of Family Meals, describes this falling away from family dinners.
"We are living in a time of intense individualism, in a culture defined by competition and consumption. It has become an article of faith, that a parents job is to provide every child with every opportunity to find his particular talent, interest, or bliss. But somehow, as we drive-thru our lives, we have given up on something so modest, so humble, so available, that we never realized it's worth. Family supper can be a bulwark against the pressures we all face, everyday."
The Surprising Power of Family Meals
Do we realize the worth of family dinner?
Anne Fishel, a professor at Harvard Medical School, shared just how valuable consistently sitting down to a meal with our families can be, in her article in the Washington Post, The Most Important Thing You Can Do With Your Kids? Eat Dinner With Them.
"As a family therapist, I often have the impulse to tell families to go home and have dinner together rather than spending an hour with me. And 20 years of research in North America, Europe and Australia back up my enthusiasm for family dinners. It turns out that sitting down for a nightly meal is great for the brain, the body and the spirit. And that nightly dinner doesn’t have to be a gourmet meal that took three hours to cook, nor does it need to be made with organic arugula and heirloom parsnips"
Ok, so I think a dinner of organic arugula and heirloom parsnips sounds pretty intriguing, actually. But, she's right! Dinner doesn't have to be fancy, or time consuming. What it should be however, is consistent.
Fishel further explains how regular family dinners are good for us.
"Those who eat lots of family dinners, are almost twice as likely to get A's in school, as their classmates who rarely eat as a family."
There's more!
"Researchers found that for young children, dinnertime conversation boosts vocabulary even more than being read aloud to."
And,
"Older children also reap intellectual benefits from family dinners. For school-age youngsters, regular mealtime is an even more powerful predictor of high achievement scores than time spent in school, doing homework, playing sports or doing art."
I know we're busy friends, but the evidence is in, consistently holding family dinners feeds the body, mind, and spirit. We can slow down, and make time to truly nourish our families.
Today's a new day. Let's make it purposeful!
Kara