Friday, January 27, 2017
5 Everyday Ways We Can Help Our Kids Feel Joy
It's a tough job being a kid.
Seven hours of school a day, five days a week, homework, basketball practice, chess club, music lessons, chores, recitals and tutor sessions, girl scouts and 4H. With such overloaded schedules, free time has become a rare commodity for our kids. Often, when kids do have some time to kill, they choose to fill it with video games or TV.
Cruising through their days at such a frantic pace, can make it difficult for kids to find time to feel much of anything, aside from exhausted. I wonder if, with all the busyness, we are forgetting to make time to show our kids some of the more subtle, beautiful sights and sounds and feelings that one day can offer, that can generally only be found if we slow down a little, and look for them. How can we make time everyday to help our children feel joy?
It doesn't take much time or energy to try these,
5 simple, everyday ways, to help our kids feel real JOY.
1. Take The Time To Really See, Not Just Look
With such busy schedules, running home from school to grab a snack, and change into your baseball uniform, then back out to the car, little time is left for our kids to see, hear, and feel, the joy that is abundant, and there for the taking.
Thich Nhat Nanh said, "The present moment is filled with joy and happiness. If you are attentive, you will see it."
That is the secret! We can teach our kids to slow down, to notice, and to appreciate the little things. Something as simple as pointing out the beauty of the clouds, or the sound the wind is making in the trees, as we walk from the car to an appointment, or taking a three minute detour on your walk home from school to run through a pile of leaves, or to throw a few snowballs.
Often, joy is found in the details.
John Calvin said it well:
"There is not one blade of grass, there is no color in this world, that is not intended to make us rejoice"
How much more purposeful and joyful can we make each day, each moment, when we teach our kids to slow down and notice, to not just look, but to really see?
2. Laugh
It's not uncommon for our kids to feel rundown and a little stressed out, by all the demands on their time. What is more effective at diffusing stress and lightening the mood, than laughter? We can keep conversation light and positive at the dinner table. Share favorite old jokes from your childhood. Admit it, "Knock, knock. Who's there? Dwain. Dwain, who? Dwain the bathtub, I'm dwownding." never gets old. Making time to interact, be a little silly, and laugh, can lighten the sometimes heavy load our kiddos bear.
3. Be the Example of Joyful Living
Whether we like it or not, we, as parents, set the tone in our homes. Our kids pick up on our moods, and our attitudes, and often this effects their own feelings. Through our positive examples, our kids can learn tools for dealing with stress and busyness in a healthy way. What are some specific ways we can be an example of joyful living?
When we feel overloaded or overtired, we can take five. Learning to take a break, step away from the busyness for a few minutes to breathe, read, or rest, is an important life skill for our kids to learn.
We can turn on music to give ourselves an emotional boost, and added energy to accomplish the days demands. It's amazing how dancing along to our favorite tunes can bring a smile to our faces, and take the drudgery out of sweeping, or doing the dishes.
This is not to say that we have to be perfect. It's ok for our kids to see us mess up, regroup, and try again.
4. It's the Quality of the Day, Not the Busyness, That Really Matters
It's easy to feel like the faster we go, the more activities we can squeeze into our day, the more successful and happy we will be. The truth is, sometimes less is more. We can teach our kids that we don't have to be busy to have a productive day.
Dieter F. Uchtdorf, and apostle in the LDS church, captured this truth beautifully. He said,
"Isn’t it true that we often get so busy? And, sad to say, we often even wear our busyness as a badge of honor, as though being busy, by itself, were an accomplishment or sign of a superior life"
What would our children gain if we taught them that the sheer amount of activities in their day wasn't what was important. What if we taught them that a day spent snuggled up in a blanket, reading a good book, could be just as important and successful as a day spent running from one activity to the next.
5. Free Time To Play
When we keep our kids moving from sun up to sun down, we deny them of a critically important component of childhood...free time and play. Allowing our kids time to themselves to think, play, wonder, and imagine, is not only extremely important in fostering creativity, but gives them much needed time to rest, renew, and find balance in their busy days. A little bit of time, time with absolutely nothing scheduled, time where they have the freedom to spend it how they like, this is an important gift for a busy kid! Allowing for some free time every day will keep our kids from feeling run down and exhausted, and give them renewed energy and excitement about all the lessons, and activities, and maybe even their homework.
It's not hard to help our kids find joy. Joy is abundant, the trick is to slow down and notice.
Today's a new day; let's make it purposeful!
Kara
Thursday, January 12, 2017
Bake Away The Blues
Well, it's still January, and I still hate it.
I've written my resolutions, and I'm plugging along, persistently, yet patiently, in the direction of those goals, but I need something more to get me through this long and gloomy month.
I'm pretty sure that a brownie, or a giant piece of cake would cheer me up, but unfortunately, I just made a resolution not to eat those. Baking, however, is the perfect choice for beating the January blues.
("I Love Baking", foxnews.com)
Baking can make you happy. It's true! But, believe it or not, it's not so much the indulging on cookies and cupcakes when the timer goes off, as it is the process of baking, that can help to bring comfort and peace, when we're feeling low. There's something beautiful and innately cheerful, about the simple act of combining the flour and the sugar, or cracking in the eggs, or punching down the dough, and shaping it into the perfect loaf.
I read a fantastic article called, "5 Reasons Baking is Good For Mental Health" (www.goodnet.org), that highlighted some of the reasons why baking is so effective at boosting your mood.
1. "Cooking is Meditative"
When you're baking, your mind is so focused on measuring out exactly 1 cup of flour, or a Tablespoon of cinnamon or vanilla, that little room is left for negative thoughts to linger. Kneading the dough or measuring out the muffin batter into the pan, helps keep our minds busy and engaged.
2. "Baking Stimulates the Senses"
Baking is definitely an activity steeped in smells and sounds and tastes and textures. Smelling the cookies baking in the oven, mixing the cold butter into the flour with your fingers to make a pie crust,
and even the sound of the mixer beating the egg whites, all help to awaken our faculties, and "increase feel-good endorphins".
3. "Nourishing Activities Feel Good"
Knowing that the effort we're making to bake something yummy for someone we love, something to nourish their body, or in the case of brownies, their soul, brings us joy.
4. "Baking is Creative"
I'm a big believer that, as this article points out, there is a "strong connection between creative expression and overall wellbeing." Creating something beautiful feels amazing! Think how proud you'll feel when your loaf of bread looks just as perfect as the loaves you saw lining the shelves of a French Patisserie on your vacation, or when you master a perfect buttercream rose on the top of your cake.
5. "Make Other People Happy"
Now that you've spent your day happily whipping up batch after batch of tasty treats, if you still want any shot at keeping those resolutions, most likely you give away some of those tempting treats to your friends or coworkers, or neighbors. Who wouldn't love being surprised by a homemade cinnamon roll, or a loaf of Banana Bread? And as we all know, inevitably, when we give a little bit of love to someone else, we end up feeling amazing ourselves.
Just 19 days left of January to endure. We've got this! Just break out the bread pans and the mixing bowls, and you'll be making Valentines cookies before you know it!
Happy Baking! Literally.
Today's a new day; let's make it purposeful!
Kara
I've written my resolutions, and I'm plugging along, persistently, yet patiently, in the direction of those goals, but I need something more to get me through this long and gloomy month.
I'm pretty sure that a brownie, or a giant piece of cake would cheer me up, but unfortunately, I just made a resolution not to eat those. Baking, however, is the perfect choice for beating the January blues.
Baking can make you happy. It's true! But, believe it or not, it's not so much the indulging on cookies and cupcakes when the timer goes off, as it is the process of baking, that can help to bring comfort and peace, when we're feeling low. There's something beautiful and innately cheerful, about the simple act of combining the flour and the sugar, or cracking in the eggs, or punching down the dough, and shaping it into the perfect loaf.
I read a fantastic article called, "5 Reasons Baking is Good For Mental Health" (www.goodnet.org), that highlighted some of the reasons why baking is so effective at boosting your mood.
1. "Cooking is Meditative"
When you're baking, your mind is so focused on measuring out exactly 1 cup of flour, or a Tablespoon of cinnamon or vanilla, that little room is left for negative thoughts to linger. Kneading the dough or measuring out the muffin batter into the pan, helps keep our minds busy and engaged.
2. "Baking Stimulates the Senses"
Baking is definitely an activity steeped in smells and sounds and tastes and textures. Smelling the cookies baking in the oven, mixing the cold butter into the flour with your fingers to make a pie crust,
and even the sound of the mixer beating the egg whites, all help to awaken our faculties, and "increase feel-good endorphins".
3. "Nourishing Activities Feel Good"
Knowing that the effort we're making to bake something yummy for someone we love, something to nourish their body, or in the case of brownies, their soul, brings us joy.
4. "Baking is Creative"
I'm a big believer that, as this article points out, there is a "strong connection between creative expression and overall wellbeing." Creating something beautiful feels amazing! Think how proud you'll feel when your loaf of bread looks just as perfect as the loaves you saw lining the shelves of a French Patisserie on your vacation, or when you master a perfect buttercream rose on the top of your cake.
5. "Make Other People Happy"
Now that you've spent your day happily whipping up batch after batch of tasty treats, if you still want any shot at keeping those resolutions, most likely you give away some of those tempting treats to your friends or coworkers, or neighbors. Who wouldn't love being surprised by a homemade cinnamon roll, or a loaf of Banana Bread? And as we all know, inevitably, when we give a little bit of love to someone else, we end up feeling amazing ourselves.
Just 19 days left of January to endure. We've got this! Just break out the bread pans and the mixing bowls, and you'll be making Valentines cookies before you know it!
Happy Baking! Literally.
Today's a new day; let's make it purposeful!
Kara
Friday, January 6, 2017
A New Way to Look at New Year's Resolutions
I've never liked January. What's to like? Christmas with all it's warmth and light and fun is packed away in red and green plastic totes until next year. You no longer have a good excuse to eat just one more cookie or piece of fudge, and worst of all, the radio stations have swapped out Sinatra singing "Silent Night", for Bieber singing, "Baby".
As much as I dislike this cold and dismal month, I have always appreciated the tradition of making resolutions that comes along with the rolling around of a new year. I've always loved the opportunity to write down on paper the best version of myself, the self I aim to be. I love the hope, realistic or not, that goal by goal, day by day, I can improve and learn and become a better me. Isn't it a beautiful thing to know that despite past mistakes, (you know, mistakes like giving up on blogging for several months), "tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it."
(L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables)
Benjamin Franklin, the very embodiment of resoluteness, (See his famous 13 virtues), is known to have said:
"How few there are who have courage enough to own their faults, or resolution enough to mend them."
As with most things that came out of Benjamin Franklin's mouth, I can see the wisdom in what he says. I am a little baffled however, at the idea that it takes courage to own up to one's faults. In my experience, I've always felt like my faults were so glaringly apparent, that whether I am courageous or not, there is no denying that I am the owner of many. The "resolution to mend" our faults, I have to agree, takes a heap of courage.
Most of us are really good at making resolutions to eat healthier, run a marathon, or to learn to play the piano, but less effective at accomplishing these goals. Often we feel the exhilaration that comes with our new ambitions, we move forward with the best of intentions, only to pitter out and give up when things get tough.
Why is it so easy to give up?
Could it be because we are taking the wrong approach? I think that our trouble with keeping resolutions comes because we expect too much, too soon. Becoming our best selves is a process, a journey, not a giant leap, to success. It's ok, on a journey, to sometimes get side-tracked, or stop to rest a while, as long as we continue to correct our course, get back on the path, and as long as we never, ever, give up.
I'm a big believer in dreaming big, and setting our sights high, but setting a lofty resolution like say, sewing a new dress, is a process. Don't be discouraged if it's difficult to make a new dress. Growing and learning are hard. Break down your goal into attainable, small steps. Start by learning to thread the sewing machine. Next learn how to read a pattern. Talk to friends and family love to sew. Watch YouTube videos, check out a book from the library, don't be afraid to rip out the stitches when you make a mistake and try again.
One small step at a time in the right direction is progress and success!
So get out there my friends! Chase after those goals to read Dickens, learn to play Chess, knit a sweater, or play more tennis. Remember to be patient with yourself as you move step by step toward your best self.
Today's a new day; let's make it purposeful!
Kara
As much as I dislike this cold and dismal month, I have always appreciated the tradition of making resolutions that comes along with the rolling around of a new year. I've always loved the opportunity to write down on paper the best version of myself, the self I aim to be. I love the hope, realistic or not, that goal by goal, day by day, I can improve and learn and become a better me. Isn't it a beautiful thing to know that despite past mistakes, (you know, mistakes like giving up on blogging for several months), "tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it."
(L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables)
Benjamin Franklin, the very embodiment of resoluteness, (See his famous 13 virtues), is known to have said:
"How few there are who have courage enough to own their faults, or resolution enough to mend them."
As with most things that came out of Benjamin Franklin's mouth, I can see the wisdom in what he says. I am a little baffled however, at the idea that it takes courage to own up to one's faults. In my experience, I've always felt like my faults were so glaringly apparent, that whether I am courageous or not, there is no denying that I am the owner of many. The "resolution to mend" our faults, I have to agree, takes a heap of courage.
Most of us are really good at making resolutions to eat healthier, run a marathon, or to learn to play the piano, but less effective at accomplishing these goals. Often we feel the exhilaration that comes with our new ambitions, we move forward with the best of intentions, only to pitter out and give up when things get tough.
Why is it so easy to give up?
Could it be because we are taking the wrong approach? I think that our trouble with keeping resolutions comes because we expect too much, too soon. Becoming our best selves is a process, a journey, not a giant leap, to success. It's ok, on a journey, to sometimes get side-tracked, or stop to rest a while, as long as we continue to correct our course, get back on the path, and as long as we never, ever, give up.
I'm a big believer in dreaming big, and setting our sights high, but setting a lofty resolution like say, sewing a new dress, is a process. Don't be discouraged if it's difficult to make a new dress. Growing and learning are hard. Break down your goal into attainable, small steps. Start by learning to thread the sewing machine. Next learn how to read a pattern. Talk to friends and family love to sew. Watch YouTube videos, check out a book from the library, don't be afraid to rip out the stitches when you make a mistake and try again.
One small step at a time in the right direction is progress and success!
So get out there my friends! Chase after those goals to read Dickens, learn to play Chess, knit a sweater, or play more tennis. Remember to be patient with yourself as you move step by step toward your best self.
Today's a new day; let's make it purposeful!
Kara
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