Summer Doesn't Have to Be Pointless: Motivating Your Kids To Put Down Their Screens

I've discovered that more often than not, when my children come to me with the complaint, "I'm bored", it's really some kind of secret kid code for, "Can I watch TV?" or, "Can I play on the computer?" I can offer them an extensive list of my most creative boredom busting ideas...paint a picture, write a story, see how many dandelions you can pick in the backyard, read a book in the hammock...nothing sparks any interest, except a screen. Helping my kids to see past the allure of screens, to the million other productive, happy, beautiful, enriching activities one can fill their day with, has been at the top of my mom priority list for a good 18 years now. I'm not perfect. Some days I give in and let my kids spend way more time staring at a screen than is healthy. I've found a method, no doubt born out of exasperation on one of those days where noses are constantly glued to screens, that is surprisingly effective at motivating my kids to abandon their screens, and spend their time in productive, healthy, ways.

Points Day

When I've had enough, when I can't take another day of incessant Peppa Pig, or Clumsy Ninja, I wake up before the kids, and make a list. I summon all my childhood memories of creative play, and make a list of as many fun, healthy, and utterly un-mind-numbing activities as I can think of. This list might look something like this:

Write a poem about summertime
Do a sneaky kind deed for someone
Draw the coolest picture ever of a dragon
Make a tower out of marshmallows and toothpicks
Practice an instrument for 10 minutes
Jump rope 100 times in a row
Read a picture book to a little sibling
Make a giant pile of pillows and read your favorite book on top
Color with sidewalk chalk in a puddle, and see what happens
Skip all the way around the house 3 times
Make a comic strip
Raid the dress up box for the most creative costume you can think of. (Dancing Super-hero Dog?)
Sincerely compliment someone
Make art out of something unexpected (ie: dried beans, pasta, leaves, pennies, etc.)
Play dough Pictionary
If you could take a trip anywhere in the world, where would you go? What would you do? What would you eat? Where would you sleep? Write it all down and read it to me.

I assign a certain number of points to each activity: one point for the quick and easy ones, two or three for the more time and thought consuming ones. I even dish out an occasional 10 points for the really tough ones. I write the "Points Day" challenge on the top of the list: "Pick whichever activities look fun to you! If you can earn 100 points by 5:00 this afternoon, you win the prize!" The prize can be whatever you think will motivate your kiddos. Our last Points Day grand prize was a walk on our favorite street downtown to get an ice-cream cone, or a cookie at the bakery, and a book at the cute used book store. It doesn't have to be expensive, or extravagant, just something novel and special. My kids have even found sufficient motivation in the slightly pathetic grand prize of lunch at Costco. When I've finished the list, I put it on the table, or the kitchen counter, or sometimes I tape it to the TV, anywhere easily spotted by the kids as they come downstairs in the morning.  I love to watch the kids discover the list. They forget all about Ash and Pikachu, and are immediately wrapped up in amassing as many points as they can! Before I know it, the house is buzzing with creative energy. Jonah is making up a song on the piano, Sophie is trying to swing higher than she ever has on the rope swing outside, and Lily is making a valiant effort to do 100 jumping jacks. Not once, all day long, do I hear the words, "I'm bored", and not once all day are my children found comatose on the couch watching TV. At the end of the day, when everyone has earned 100 points, (usually they get competitive and earn well over 100), we set off to cash in on the grand prize.

The next time the theme song to Sesame Street has you clenching your teeth, or your grow tired of the glazed look in your kid's eyes as he goes for the high score on Minecraft, consider making it a Points Day!

Share your genius with me! What are some ideas you would put on your list?

Today's a new day; let's  make it purposeful!
Kara

Summer At Home With Kids Is No Vacation: 4 Secrets to Make Summer Fun Again

Each June, I find myself counting down the days till summer vacation begins. I'm just as excited as my kids to trade in rigid schedules, early mornings, and homework for sleeping in, flip-flops, and the lazy days of summer.

I love summer for all the sunshine and extra time with my kids, but it doesn't take too many of lazy summer days for me to remember that summer vacation is no picnic!

Tell me that I'm not the only one to ever have a summer day go something like this...

My wake up call comes in the form of two little pairs of pouncing pajamas. My tired eyes will barely open enough to check the time on the clock. I was up late the night before, trying to convince the kids that bedtime is still a good idea, even in the summertime. Morning has come too soon! I stumble sleepily down the stairs to make breakfast. I mix together eggs and milk and baking powder, and heat up the frying pan for our favorite pancakes, when I realize that we're out of flour. Cereal again. The kids are vocally disappointed with cereal for breakfast, a very "school year" kind of breakfast with no place in their summer morning. After breakfast I clean up the kitchen, and head upstairs for a shower. My shower plans are sabotaged by frequent "MOM!" calls for help to find the black crayon, to reach a favorite toy that has rolled under the couch, and at least 5 denied request for screen time. Suddenly, it's 1:00, and I am still in my pajamas, and all the kids are still in theirs. I remember that I promised to take them to the park, but I have a chiropractor appointment at 3:00. I give out commands for kids to get dressed, comb their hair, and find shoes, as I make a mad dash to the shower. When I'm finally dressed for the day, I head downstairs ready for the park, to find kids still hanging out in their pajamas, looking for the brush, or wearing winter boots because they can't find their other flip-flop anywhere. It's 2:00. Despite a noble last minute attempt to get everyone dressed and out the door as quickly as possible, it's 2:20, and we still can't find the brush or one of Lily's shoes. I break the news that we've run out of time, and the park is going to have to wait until tomorrow. I swing by the store on the way home from the chiropractor to pick up some consolation popsicles, hoping to ease the pain of the park disappointment. The popsicles are a hit, and the park blues are soon replaced by blue stained tongues and fingers. There is peace and contentment at home, until I find the first abandoned popsicle, a stick in a neon puddle on the table. I call the guilty party in to clean up the mess, turn, and step in abandoned popsicle number two. I find wrappers on the counter and the floor, and every surface that can possibly be sticky, is. The popsicles have officially made it a bath night. I shew the little ones up the stairs and tempt them into the tub with extravagant amounts of bubbles and toys. Kids content in the bath, I figure that I can use this time to whip up some dinner. I sneak down the stairs, (all bathers old enough to be left alone, of course), and start dinner. I boil water for the pasta and heat up the butter and milk for the rue. Homemade macaroni and cheese! Is there a happier end to the day? Then I remember that you can't make a rue without flour, and we're out. I rummage through the cupboards to find the box grater, then open the fridge to discover...no cheese. I put a not so willing teenager in charge of the kids in the bath, and run to the nearest grocery store for cheese and flour. While I'm there I remember that we're also out of bread and bananas and peanut butter and eggs. Thirty minutes later I'm back home to find kids out of the tub and starved. I return to the cold noodles and lumpy rue, and finally, thirty minutes later, have dinner on the table. I try to overcome the guilt of having dinner at 8:00, again, telling myself that it's very European. This makes me feel a little better. Dinner ends, and by the time we all clear the table, and clean up, it's 9:00. Who knew one could get distracted 300 times on the way to brush their teeth. Prayers said, books read, we tuck the littles into bed, and drop subtle hints to the teenagers that maybe they are really tired and should head up to bed.  It's 10:00 and my husband and I slump exhausted on the couch, barely enough energy to pick a show on Netflix to watch together before we drop wearily into bed.

Did you find my embarrassingly accurate description of a summer day at the Parnell home funny, or did it strike too close to home to be funny? This summer thing can be intense! Thankfully, through trial and error, I've stumbled upon a few secrets that have helped me keep the above mentioned kind of day to a minimum, and helped to make summer at home with kids memorable and fun.


Save Summer Ideas

1 - Plan!

It's amazing the power over the day you give yourself, by taking a little time the night before to put some ideas on paper. I've been amazed at how much more smoothly a summer day goes when I've done a little planning. There's no need to plan a minute by minute schedule, but I find that whipping out a notebook, or my phone in bed at night, and writing down any appointments or obligations for the next day, along with a few ideas to entertain the kids, helps me feel empowered, not overwhelmed when I wake up in the morning. Having this idea ammunition on my list, I feel organized and prepared as I challenge my kids to the world's coolest Lego creation contest after breakfast, and I keep lunch prep stress to a minimum as I pack the picnic I planned the night before, and head out the door to enjoy it at the lake. I don't have to use up my limited supply of energy and creativity in the stress of the day. I organized my day in a quiet moment, by myself, the night before, and that has made such a difference.


2 - Get Out

I've seen a pattern among my most stressful summer days. The days that end up the most exhausting and stressful are almost always the days that we stay home all day. Something about staying home the entire day, staring at the never ending pile of dishes that just wont go away no matter how many times you load the dishwasher, and in general just spending long hours cooped up together, can often lead to stress, boredom, and grumpy kids (and mom). I've learned that making it a priority to get out of the house, at least once a day, makes all the difference. To the park, on a walk, to the pool, to a museum, to visit a friend, even just to the grocery store, just getting out of the house for a little while each day, magically makes home a happy place to return to, and seems to reduce the stress, boredom, and grumpy feelings.

3 - Stay In

Wait, what? I know. But staying in at least some of the day, is equally as important as getting out for some of the day. Balance, my friends. I've noticed that as fun as getting out of the house on a fun adventure is, if I pack the day too full, the kids get exhausted, and fed up with the hot car, and just want to go home. Striking that  balance between fun activities, and some down time at home to read and play and rest, seems to be key for a happy summer day.

4 - Take Time For Yourself

During the school year, with the regular, more predictable routine of kids off to school by 9 and home by 3, it's easier to find a little time for yourself. In the swirl of activity, and the more loose routine of summer, it can be tricky to remember to schedule in some down time for yourself. Taking a few minutes every day to relax, refocus, and refuel, is my biggest secret to a happy summer day. When the busyness of the day has got you feeling overwhelmed, take 15 minutes to read a couple chapters of a book, whip out your mat and remember how great a little downward dog and cobra can make you feel when your overwhelmed, eat your favorite snack on the porch and just relax and notice the beautiful day, or anything to put a little focus on yourself, anything to remind yourself that you are an individual too, not just a mom, and that it's okay for you to have a fun summer too.  It's okay to take a break. No guilt allowed. A rested happy mom inevitably leads to a happier family and a happier summer day.

We can do it! We can turn the 90 long days of summer, stretching out before us in all it's intimidating
busyness, to 90 days of balance, fun, rest and adventure.

Today's a new day; let's make it purposeful!
Kara