Mindfulness For a Happier Thanksgiving

I don't know if I can wait another day until Thanksgiving! Already, visions of sweet potato casserole and pumpkin pie are dancing in my head. If I had to make a list, right this minute, of all that I am thankful for, Thanksgiving Day itself would be right on top. I love everything about this holiday rooted in celebrating our blessings and showing love and gratitude to friends and family in my very favorite way: cooking and sharing really delicious food. As much as I look forward to this holiday every year, I am often guilty of giving so much of my attention and energy to the preparations for the celebration, (shopping, cooking, cleaning, decorating...), that I am too absorbed in the details to notice and appreciate the abundant, simple, happy moments that this day brings.

This year, I'm determined not to get lost in the details! What can we do to really be present in our holiday celebrations this year, to notice and feel and appreciate all the goodness around us, when we still have potatoes to mash, and turkey shaped place cards to make?

What if we practiced a little mindfulness this Thanksgiving?

You know, mindfulness...being present in the present. Noticing what you are feeling, seeing, tasting, touching...making a conscious decision to slow down the rushed, routine, thoughtless, way of cruising through our day, and to really notice and appreciate.

Thich Nhat Hanh captured mindfulness perfectly when he said, "Live the actual moment. Only this actual moment is life."

Here are some simple mindfulness ideas that I'm going to give a try this Thanksgiving. Try them too, and I'll bet that you will notice an abundance of reasons to be truly thankful this year.

A Mindful Thanksgiving

-When you're stuck in the kitchen peeling potatoes, or rolling out pie crust, resist the natural instinct to plow through, intent on finishing the task, and instead, really notice the process. Notice the bright orange of the sweet potato, or the spicy, warm, scent of cinnamon. Notice how the bread dough feels between your fingers as you knead it. Tune into the moment and appreciate it for exactly what it is.

-Be present in conversations. Take advantage of having friends and family gathered near, and really engage in conversation. Make eye contact. Really listen. Don't let the dishes, or your cell phone, divide your attention.

-Take time on this day of thankfulness, to focus on all you have to be thankful for. Make a list, in your mind, or on paper, of the little things, (and big), that make your life happy: The bright orange leaves on the tree in your backyard, your favorite sweater, kind words, apple pie, laughter, home, family. Thinking of your blessings will turn your mind to what this holiday is all about, and keep you from focusing too much on less important things. Plus, if you take time to be grateful, you will have a happier holiday! It's true! Gratitude fosters happiness.

I read about a study done by Dr. Robert Emmons, a professor of Psychology at UC Davis in California. He studied over 1,000 people, asking some participants to write down five things that they were grateful for every day, and the rest to write down five difficult things, or "hassles", that they had dealt with in their day. Just the simple act of turning their focus from the bad, to the good things that happened each day, the group who wrote a gratitude list each day were shown to have, " a 25 percent improvement in overall health and wellbeing in comparison with the group focusing on what had gone wrong each day." ("8 Wellbeing Benefits of Practicing Gratitude", londonmindful.com)

All right, I'm ready for the most memorable and happy Thanksgiving yet! I'm armed with a killer recipe for creamed corn, my family, some seriously cute decorations, and a little mindfulness.

Today's a new day; let's make it purposeful!
Kara



 (For more ideas on what you can do to focus on gratitude this Thanksgiving, check out this cool podcast, https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/podcasts/item/gratitude_practices

The Power of Everyday Traditions to Strengthen Families

As is often the case, when pots of colorful mums and everything pumpkin spice, give way to peppermint ice-cream and my Pandora Christmas station playing continuously, my thoughts turn to all that makes the holiday season so memorable and special: gratitude for all the gifts of life, service, love, family, and tradition.

You know that Dickens inspired saying, "We should celebrate Christmas in our hearts all year long"? I've been thinking a little along those lines. Holiday traditions add meaning to our celebrations, unite friends and family, and inspire lasting memories. Why do we limit traditions to a select few special occasions? Why not bring traditions, with all their memory-making power, to our everyday?

I know that none of us have a lot of extra time in our daily schedules to work in elaborate, or time-consuming traditions. It's ridiculous to think of trying to carve pumpkins, or decorate gingerbread houses every Tuesday night. These traditions are great, but there's a reason we limit them to once a year...they're a lot of work!

The beauty of a daily tradition is, the simpler the better! The point is to find daily ways to show love, make memories, and connect with our families, not to spend a lot of time, energy, or money. (None of which I usually have a lot of. 😊)

It's easier than you think! Here are a few of the happy, extremely simple, ways I've found to work tradition into my family's everyday.

Cereal??

If you know me at all, you know I have a thing for cereal. Maybe this love took root as a kid, fishing free prizes of plastic spoons with Tony the Tiger handles, or secret decoder rings, out of the boxes before my brothers found them. I know this love grew as a busy college student, surviving off a steady diet of this super quick and easy meal. I've always loved cereal. Movies are more fun with a bowl of cereal. What is the perfect post-workout food, comfort food, and bedtime snack...cereal, of course.

Some of my kids have found a similar appreciation for cereal.

A few days ago I was talking with my oldest daughter, away at college. She was feeling a little overwhelmed with classes, and her busy schedule, and the number of days on the calendar before Christmas break. It's tough to comfort your kid from 2,000 miles away! So, I thought of something familiar, something that connects us, and might make home seem a little less far away for her. As silly as it sounds, that day, cereal was the answer.

We both broke out bowls and spoons, and Special K, and ate a few bites together over Skype. It was simple, kind of ridiculous, and exactly what she needed. Tradition is powerful stuff!

Family Room Yoga

Sometimes as our kids get older and their interests change, it can be a little tricky to find ways to connect. I remember freaking out a little when suddenly One Direction and iPhones were way cooler than playing at the park and Cyberchase. I wasn't sure how to stay close and connected with teenagers?! I had never raised one of those before!

Then one day we discovered free workout videos that came with our cable TV On Demand. I don't remember how it started exactly. Maybe I tried a Yoga video, and my girls were curious and joined in. Pretty soon we found our favorite workouts, and new one's to try. We started motivating each other to exercise more, and looking forward to those Saturdays, or summer mornings, working out together. There was a lot of laughing at how much less cool we looked attempting humble warrior, than the instructor, and at how noisy our cracking knees were every time we attempted a squat or a lunge. Our favorite part of every workout was by far the totally necessary post-workout snack.

This tradition started 5 or 6 years ago, and still, whenever the three of us are all at home together, one of us will inevitably say, "We should do a workout!"

Pass it Down

Most of us have a favorite Christmas tradition or two that we loved as a kid, and have passed down to our own families. What about the smaller, meaningful, daily, memories you might have from childhood? When you share simple, significant, experiences from your childhood, you can connect generations, and pass on an an appreciation for things that were important to you as a kid.

It's so interesting to me, looking back, that it was the small and simple things that meant the most. Why do I attempt to can peaches and tomatoes, even though I am secretly terrified that I will give my whole family botulism? It's an attempt to recreate for my kids, those happy memories of that syrupy sweet, heavy, smell of peaches filling the house, and the bright, sunny, mason jars lining the shelves afterwards.

Why does my husband give up a night of peaceful sleep in his own bed, and instead lug sleeping bags and pillows out to the trampoline, and spend the night with bouncy, excited, talkative kids? First, it's because he is a way better sport than I am, and second, because I've told my kids of my happy memories of my dad giving into our incessant begging, and agreeing to sleep on the trampoline with us, so we could point out all the constellations we knew, and fall asleep to the sounds of our neighbors sprinkler and crickets.

Why wait until Christmas? Break out some everyday traditions now! I'll bet that you probably already have a few sweet, daily traditions that you didn't even realize you had. Maybe reading to your kids at night before bed, or a hug and an encouraging word before the kids head off to school, or brownies every Sunday. It doesn't take much! Look for simple ways that you can show love and connect with your family every day.

Today's a new day; let's make it purposeful!
Kara