Helen Keller
I take a lot of things very seriously.
I'm serious about having abundant cereal options at all times in my pantry. I'm serious about my kids flossing their teeth, because I never again want to experience the very judgmental look our dentist shot me at our last visit. I'm serious about mayo not Miracle Whip, and Dean not Jess, on Gilmore Girls, and sleeping in on Saturday mornings. But serious about happiness? I'm not so sure.
Several years ago I read Helen Keller's autobiography, The Story of My Life. I think I've always felt some level of admiration for this woman ever since I watched the old movie, The Miracle Worker, in elementary school. After finishing this book, my admiration turned to awe and a desire to emulate, if I could, some of the character traits that made Helen such a remarkable person: Optimism, faith, kindness, conscientiousness, hope. Most of all, I noticed that she was unfailingly happy. She had a lust for life that nothing could take from her. Helen Keller wasn't handed happiness. Her early childhood was fraught with trial and confusion and challenges. Helen sought out happiness, and found a million reasons every day to feel joy.
Can we find a million reasons in our lives to be happy, even when our circumstances aren't perfect? What's stopping us from feeling happy?
I would never wish to diminish the seriousness of depression or mental illness. I know that there are many conditions where just thinking positively isn't enough. I'm just hoping to suggest some everyday ways that each of us can increase our daily happiness through small changes in our perspective.
In Helen's own eloquent words:
"Keep your face to the sun and you cannot see a shadow."
Here is secret #1 to daily happiness! Focus on the good! Neither I, nor Helen, are the first to discover this secret to happiness. Seeking out the good, and positive thinking have long been touted by philosopher, poet, and Oprah Winfrey.
There is power in keeping our focus on the positive!
I'm forever having this conversation with my six year old, who has a strong sense of injustice. I often tell her, "I know that it's tough when we're out of your favorite syrup, but friend, we're having blueberry pancakes for breakfast, and the sun is shining, there's so much to be happy about! Try to focus on the good!"
How could making this shift to focus on the good help increase our happiness?
What if we saw making dinner every night as an opportunity to share some love with our families, instead of the drudgery that it often becomes. What if we focused on how hard our husband or wife or children are trying, instead of on what they haven't done. What if we woke up to see each new day as an opportunity to experience beauty, and strengthen relationships, and gain knowledge, and talk and eat and work and play, instead of another day trapped in the same old schedule.
This seems like a good segue into secret #2 - Don't get trapped in the same old schedule.
I remember the thoughts that went through my head when I was sixteen, and had my first real job at the mall. I remember standing there, twisting pretzel after pretzel, and thinking, "Is this the way it's going to be? Why am I giving SO much of my time to this meaningless job, to earn money that I don't even have time to spend. What about what I WANT to do? What about happiness?"
This seems a little dramatic, looking back, but it raises a good point. It's pretty easy to get so caught up in the day to day, that we forget to make time to be happy. I often catch myself forgetting to come up for air. I'm in a constant rush from washing the dishes, to sweeping the floor, chopping up carrots, and running to the store for milk. I forget to sit down, all day long. I forget to stop and really look into the eyes of that little girl who's been following me around all morning. I forget that life is more than just our to do list. We all have the list. There's always going to be appointments and meetings, and chores, but don't get so focused on the small and relatively insignificant, that you can't see past it to the bigger and better.
Secret #3 - Say YES to things that make you happy!
Maybe I should clarify. This is not meant as a good excuse to be selfish, or indulgent, or to give in to anything and everything that appeals to you...eating a the whole gallon of ice-cream won't really make you happy. Instead, this secret is meant to remind us that it's not selfish to have a hobby, or to have interests, or to be happy. Make a list. What are some things that make you deep down happy? Maybe your heart aches with the beauty of a sunrise, but you're always too tired to witness one. Make it happen! Make it a priority! Schedule some happiness in your day. Maybe reading makes you feel enlightened and rested and happy, but who has time to read? Make time! Even if it's just a few minutes while you wait for a kid in a music lesson, or for the water to boil for the pasta. Maybe watching National Geographic Documentaries, or playing chess, or dates with your spouse, or listening to opera make you happy...It's not selfish to seek after happiness. Life is about so much more than just twisting pretzels all day long. Find time for the little things that make you happy.
Today's a new day; let's make it purposeful!
Kara
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